EDDIE REPORT
EXCLUSIVE JUST IN!!
11-23-05
I have been sabotaged by unknown assailants. At approx 5 pm today I found my camera on my desk. I goto turn it on and it looks like I've taken a picture of a damn butterfly. Only to my dismay did I realize that someone has sabotaged my camera. Somebody broke the LCD screen on the back so that I can no longer preview my pictures!!!
I do have a list of suspects. Here is the list, in order of most wanted to least wanted for questioning:
1. My Grandmother
2. The Maid
3. Hajjarrrrno
4. Myself
I believe that my grandmother is the likely candidate. I caught her in my room one day looking through my pictures on the camera. She called me the devil. She was "appalled" that I would take part in such immoral acts. My response was that "everybody" is doing it. She didn't like this response and beat me with her walker.
Now comes the maid. She was cleaning my room the other day. I don't trust her, never have. She once stole 50 cents from my bathroom. I placed the money there on purpose to test her out. And sure enough she stole my 50 cents. Who does that? Anyways I think she hates me. Out of spite for me I think she ran over the camera with the vacuum cleaner. I'd ask her if she did it, but no undertandy the english.
Now for Hajarrrrno. You see one Saturday at his house, "somebody" took scandalous pictures of him. The sort of pictures that if posted on a website as famous as this, well lets just say his reputation would be destroyed. Well I believe he sneaked into my house one day, and took a hammer and began beating my camera. Obviously he can not afford for this picture to get out. I also beat the shit out of him on a regular basis in basketball.
Now for myself. Well the obvious could have happen. I came in from a night of immoral acts and dropped the camera when I decided it would be a good idea to sit down on my chair while the camera was under the leg of the chair. I'm sure I would not do this to my precious camera so I'm taking myself off the list.
Punishment will be swift and severe. Out of the list I hope it was Hajarrrrrno. I would so enjoy revenge upon this man. 1 v 1. B ball. Hills.
So no more pics for a couple of weeks while the camera is being repaired.
Filed: Eddie